Texts From Last Night · AlexaShaw's Favorites

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AlexaShaw's Favorites Texts:

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(734): View more from Michigan

Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."

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(464): View more from Illinois

He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?

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(806): View more from Texas

There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(209): View more from California

I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.

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(805): View more from California

No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture

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(903): View more from Texas

He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding

(541): View more from Oregon

Can I have him when you're done?

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(217): View more from Illinois

I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.

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