Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (713)

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??

  (713): View more from Texas

  Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.

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  (832): At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept?? (713): Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger. http://tfl.nu/oww9
  Replies (44) Good night (4809) Bad night (9131)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?

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  (713): S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B? http://tfl.nu/ysr8
  Replies (131) Good night (649) Bad night (8057) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.

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  (713): I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source. http://tfl.nu/tbks
  Replies (98) Good night (2742) Bad night (7017) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me

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  (713): So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me http://tfl.nu/r4q8
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  (713): View more from Texas

  splinters make it hard to masturbate

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  (713): splinters make it hard to masturbate http://tfl.nu/uhm3
  Replies (20) Good night (766) Bad night (6650) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.

  (713): View more from Texas

  what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.

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  (832): my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over. (713): what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper. http://tfl.nu/jxuh
  Replies (95) Good night (814) Bad night (5723)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..

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  (713): she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding.. http://tfl.nu/h93z
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  (713): View more from Texas

  well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there

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  (713): well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there http://tfl.nu/feia
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.

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  (713): Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake. http://tfl.nu/b27h
  Replies (19) Good night (569) Bad night (5062) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin

  (954): View more from Florida

  Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language

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  (713): You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin (954): Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language http://tfl.nu/75up
  Replies (34) Good night (915) Bad night (4882)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it

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  (713): My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it http://tfl.nu/zhky
  Replies (109) Good night (945) Bad night (4651) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far

  (713): View more from Texas

  Sounds better than last semester

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  (214): So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far (713): Sounds better than last semester http://tfl.nu/9h5w
  Replies (12) Good night (1468) Bad night (4453)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.

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  (713): I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan. http://tfl.nu/gm7k
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  (713): View more from Texas

  this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy

  (1-713): View more from Texas

  well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"

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  (713): this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy (1-713): well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE" http://tfl.nu/3bep
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  (713): View more from Texas

  If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.

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  (713): If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free. http://tfl.nu/xcq7
  Replies (25) Good night (1354) Bad night (4366) Order T-Shirt