at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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