I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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