Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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