that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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