How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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