I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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