Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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