He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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