How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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