i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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