how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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