So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
operation have a gay friend backfired
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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