you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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