Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
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You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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