You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize