The maid of honor just puked.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
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ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize