she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
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