I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize