hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We don't watch enough power rangers
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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