Well douche your snatch and let's go!
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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