you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize