I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize