Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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