Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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