If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize