it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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