I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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