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i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
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