would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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