woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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