Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
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Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
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$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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