Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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