At least make sure they are 18
Why
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We left the knife in your bed.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize