And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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