i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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