I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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