just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize