New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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