is your mom at the bar?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
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I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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