Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize