if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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