then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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