I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize