The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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