it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
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You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
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you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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