we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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