I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize