Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize